if He wills.

....... ntah.

rasa cam, semua orang dah besar, dah ready nak face dunia luar. dah dewasa, dah tak sabar semua. amek lesen, kerja lagi tu.. dlm office plak tu, ada yg jd cikgu.... ada yg nak sambung blaja dah! ready to face the world heads up... *eventhough the dramas are still a must :D*
dah matang.

indeed, they are.

I'm Proud.
i can't say i'm not. seeing them all so eagered, to move on, to grow up, certain with their futures, with what they want to be, of who they want to become. who can't say they're not proud? but then again,
one can't help to feel..

scared.

why does it feels like i'm getting left behind?
are they're moving with full speed, or am i the one who's slowing down?

......

vague
   the future, i see.
overwhelmed
   i feel

everyday, the same old routine. wake up, breakfast, tv, sleep, computer, tv, sleep, eat.
what's else is new? it feels like dah khatam tv tu.. cerita sama je berulang-ulang.....
here i am, a high school grad. in front of the tv, just,
   watching tv. doing nothing else.
eventhough i should be enjoying the world now, i can't. i'm not. why is that?

i do get distracted easily, especially when there's no goal to achieve.......
and i loathe it.
   but i can't help it.

or can i?

it is not in the stars that hold our destiny, but in ourselves.

there're many things you can do. just like them. just pick one, and just. do.
as nike once said, just do it.
...

I just saw The King's Speech . twas a great movie, indeed.
there was a part when lionel, the speech therapist and the king was taking a walk in the park. and they started talking about king matters, or lionel started it along the way. and the king, he was actually the second son and took the throne from his elder brother since the elder one wanted to live with ''the woman he loved",  a divorced American woman, and it can't be accepted for a king to be acting in that way.
so the second one became king, and was bethroned.

yet, he feel he doesn't deserves to be one. he's not one. he can't speak like one. he can't be what he ought to be. he should be the voice for the people, yet he stammers everytime he speaks. how can people gain trust, and confidence in him?
so he feel he is not deserving to be king.
this was how the king felt.

this lionel, the speech therapist, wanted to help. he knew the king could be a great king. he can see it. he wanted to help the king. but then again, the king doesn't want any help. he see's no point in it. incurable. he feels.
it led me to wonder,

 why do people 'tolak' other people's help, when they know the ones who wanted to help, have the best intentions in hand...... ?
maybe, he feels undeserving
maybe, he feels... afraid

he knows, somewhere deep in him, he could be someone great. he even made a signal for help, if anyone cared, and when someone did replied. but then, fear, came rushing in.
he was afraid.
could he lived up to the expectations?
could he be what he should be? what he can become? what if things go wrong? will this be the one that can help me through this? could the future be what he hoped it would be?

fear, of the unknown.
Steve Job said,

"You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something....because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well-worn path. And that will make all the difference."

and Anwar Hadi summed it up pretty well,

To me, he just said "believe in Qadha and Qadr", you know, the sixth pillar of Iman? That's why Islam is the only religion to turn to, because Islam encompasses everything. A Muslim should never feel despair, because we trust in Allah. We trust that things will work out for us in the end, that as long as we're holding on to the rope of Allah [3:103], we'll never lose. It also serves as a reminder to me that I should remain steadfast on the road that I believe that will bring the most benefit to the most people. I hope this feeling remains within myself, as well as in everyone out there.

insyaAllah.
i guess, in the end, it's all about, being true to your heart, and believing in Him.
insyaAllah.
everything's gonna be alright in the end.
insyaAllah.

 may Peace be upon you.




p/s:done while hearing to a heartbreaking song. 

any minute now..

Woke up, saw the note. Ouch, my back hurts.

Enough. No time must be wasted. The kids are still sleeping....... 

Let them rest.:)

Scarf. Keys. Bag. Let's go.

Hey look, the sun isn't even up, i'm early today.:))

Veggies, fish, meat, breakfast. anything else on the list?? good. okay now, they're coming early so i gotta prepare. everything done. time to head back home.

=.=

She's doing it again. Does she hate me or something? sheesh. never mind, this.is.not.a.good.time.

so much to do, so little time, i have no time worrying about this, they'll be here any minute soon. hope there's many of them. getting the dishes out, nice. it's been so  long since i've use these. .... man, has it been ages...

so. everything's warm and ready, only me. i haven't bathed yet. it'll be jiffy.

done. ain't i'm fast..B)

well, 

any minute now.

prayer time?? probably they'll move after finishing up. needs to be warm when they come.

any minute now.

any minute now.

any minute, now.

.

finally, God bless. :D

it seriously, has been, so long.

how have you've been? ssup?? (?) and the night goes on.

:)

**************************************************

it's that time of year again. is it? can 'that time' be every time? that'd be nice. but then again, everyone has  their own lives, their own dreams to be achieved. their family, friends. their loved ones. some times, times pass by we didn't even notice it flying. it feels shorter.

sungguh,

"Tidak akan berlaku kiamat sehingga masa menjadi singkat, maka setahun dirasakan seperti sebulan dan sebulan dirasakan seperti seminggu dan seminggu dirasakan seperti sehari dan sehari dirasakan seperti satu jam dan satu jam dirasakan seperti satu petikan api". 

(riwayat Tarmizi) 

but then again, if there weren't any 'special event's or 'occasion's like this, sometimes, we don't even realize it.. and we let it slip by...taking it for granted. not the care nor attention deserved.

until it's too late and there's nothing you could do.

 nasi sudah jadi bubur , right?

had it coming, ay?

well, one should not be un-productive and keep being a 'sitting duck'.

"man, these days, it feels sekejap sangat sehari tu.."

so? ur whining gonna make it slower? more suitable for you?? u feel u're the only one feeling like it?

whining, complaining doesn't get us anywhere. just tiresome, doing something that has no effect, yet still having hope.

wake up. stand up. get your act straight, and just do it.

grab that star, it's not really that far, if you're determined and set your mind to it.

grab that person, before it's too late and you'll never have the chance again.

seek oppurtunities.. grab them while you can.

The first step is always the hardest. But it is in your hand.

Your decision. Your road.

if He wills, anything's possible.

Assalamualaikum

happy holidays

eat. drink. be merry.

mumbles.rants.ahead.

.........

....

.

:)

Assalamualaikum.

It's been a long time since we've last met. How you've been?

Finally, fresh air.

"Congratulations, you've been accepted"

wow, the looks of eagerness, on each face.

So eagered, excited.

Grown up..

just starting to take a break (?dah ke?) and they come rolling in, one by one... pushing, demanding us to stand up, with our heads high, and take responsibility. or bare the consequences. a huge one. make a decision, with wisdom and faith.

choices.

it makes you or breaks you.

and it demands attention, fast

it feels just like yesterday, we were still wide-eyed, innocent with our noses watery. wondered, amazed by every single thing happening around us. making silly jokes. gossiping. now, can time stand still?

u wish.

u learn from experiences, hold on to memories and keep on moving, cause that's life.

it goes on.

u can never erase embarassing stuff, choose another path, hoped you prepared better for something or hope it would be like entirely different...

but u can't

all that have happened. those are the things that makes u, who you are now. it have shaped u, moulded u, and make u grow as a person, from the mistakes, from the people around, from experience.

u are what u are due to what u were and what u did.

no regrets. keep on moving ahead. full speed.

salamualaikum..

oh ye, sori for the 'merepek'ness. just felt that it needed to be lift off.

p/s: it's been so long, this feels weird.

p/s/s: i miss this.:)

i've tried, and tried, yet...

still

......

can you wait for me?

i promise, i'll make it worth the wait.

insyaAllah

wondering when will be the right time...

Adusshh..-.-

pelajar: Ummi, abang cuma dapat B dalam pathology sem lepas. dah study dah, tapi tak dapat A jugak.

Ummi: tak mengapa anakku, yang penting bukan bilangan A, tapi pada setiap ilmu yang membawa kita lebih dekat dengan Allah SWT. kalau A kita banyak tapi masih jauh kita dengan Allah, apa gunanya? biarlah setiap ayat yang kita hafal itu, kita syukuri dan berharap bahwa ilmu itu diberkati, dan malah membawa kita selangkah dekat kepada-Nya.

Berbisa~~ siapa makan cili, terasa pedasnye...
InsyaAllah...
Moga2 tahun baru ini membawa 'perubahan' baru, berubah ke arah lebih baik daripada tahun sebelum ni..

(Isn't it always like that?? now, WALK the TALK)
*Double jerk dihadiahkan..*

Assalamualaikum
Peace out