and so the boy wondered

was this how people carry on with their lives ?

satu fiksi

Pagi itu indah. Bangun dia dari kamar melihat sinar mentari sedang menerjah biliknya, cerah. 

Cerah. Terangkat bibirnya. 

'Today is going to be a good day, insyaAllah'

The weather's been nice lately, but somehow, she wasn't as cheer-y. Although she wondered why, the answer seem to never reach her. Maybe she was so slow she couldn't catch up with it. Or maybe it was playing hide-and-seek with her, seeing what she'll do to find it. Whether she wants it bad enough. Either way, she's still confused, and not seem to be getting any nearer.

Nonetheless, she continued on. Every single day. Some things happened, good, bad, normal. Life. She was there, in all these, experiencing day-to-day life. And she was happy. She was sad. She was focused. She sometimes lost track of stuff. And she get back up again. Living.

Yet somehow, there was , something. missing. and it comes by every now and then, forcing her to stop on her tracks. She tries to deal with it, the best way she knows how. And when another day goes by that it doesn't occupy her mind, she's thankful for it. 

But a bird took notice. She wasn't, fully there. Her mind was somewhere, even she don't know where. Just floating. Though the bird chirped and chirped, she took no notice, for it was only a bird. But the bird was determined to make her see. So the bird keep on coming by to her window, chirping to her every morning when she wakes up; when the sun streaks into her room, filling it with a soft glow.  

Days passed. and more days passed.

And one day, while the bird was chirping, there was a smile on the girl's face. Not a big one. Just enough of a hint that she was enjoying it. That she took notice. That she was there. 

That she was fully, there. 

renung saja tiada guna

Diambilnye gajet itu yang terbaring di depan mata

Belek. Belek.

Dan belek

Ligat ibu jari bergerak ke atas mengilap skrin gajet baru di-update itu

Kosong

Matanya,

Dan minda

Cukup kadar melihat, tanpa ada yang benar-benar masuk

Pelik

Makin mampu untuk berhubung kita dengan dunia luar sana

Makin kosong kita di dalamnya

Makin banyak dijamah

Makin tiada rasa yang disuapnya

Dia rindu bulan puasa baru ini.

Pelik kembali

Baru sebulan pemergian syawal

Dirasa jauh sekali ramadhan

Lagi jauh suasana yang begitu dirindunya

Di mana dia rasa dia dengan begitu saja pergi berborak bersama Dia

Mencari Dia

Kadang meluah saja

Kadang rasa banyak yang belum terbuat

Tapi masih bergerak

Masih

Tapi kini,

entah kenapa

entah apa beza dulu dan kinj

Rasa itu susah hadir

Atau cume dia?

Yang balik ke cara dulu, meski ada yang baru

Tapi

Itulah manusia kan

Merungut

Rungut, dan rungut

Tanpa bergerak 

Meski sikit

Hidupkah ? 

baking adventures

Here's what I've baked for this last summer.

and some more I was too lazy to take photos of (or too hungry ahaks)

But man do I need to brush up my photography skills 👊🏽 

And ma bake-zys of coursee

If He pleases

lukis di awan

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Just a 5-minutes break from my homework, and I felt like I needed to get this out, write it down, paint the sky!

So that I won't forget (hopefully).

So what doyawanna paint ?

> cakesss and bakessss

On social media there's like A TON of people baking, and man they are gooddd. Like it's so visually stunning, I can feel water welling up into my mouth, picture after picture after picture, and it's flooded I need to gulp down to prevent over flow mann, these cakes!

But enough of them! Why not make them ? You're pretty good at baking, you just need to start putting some real thought and energy and time into it, okay? 

Your bakes are da bomb, so GO BIG GURL!

> my deen

The meaning of the word itself is 'way of life', so could you know how to practice your deen without learning about it, understanding it, and actually spending time to increase your knowledge, understanding, and practicing it; your way of life. Your belief. Your faith.

So spend some time. Make it consistent and not a one time thing so that you'll grow, albeit bit by bit, but you keep on moving. Forward inshaAllah.

Make goals. Realistic ones. Let it be small, but consistent. Learn.

And don't forget about the manual too. It's QUINTESSENTIALY ESSENTIALL. Read it daily, and do your other goals.

> habits

They say it takes 30 days to develop a habit. 

So do it step by step. 

What do you want to develop ?

Physical - jog @ exercise daily

Spiritual - your manual, daily

Mental - read the news, a book, about your line

Emotional - take time, to spend some time with others, and appreciate

So do one by one, for 30 days. Make a schedule so that you'll stick to it. Then after a month, add another habit.

Bit by bit. Little by little.

100 percent concentrated power of will.

> hand skills

After some thought, this felt like something that needs to be learn as you grow. This skills not only help cut costs since you're doing it by yourself, but you can be as creative as your imagination run free. So let's !

Handy dandy: sew, finance, it

So far these feels like I need to learn them. But there's no rush! Live still, and continue looking forward. 

So plan how, and when you're going to learn this handy dandy skills, and execute! 

Execute improvise plan execute!

And insyaAllah to more things to be seen, and done

If He wills

<3

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful 

Words are failing me.

Or,

to be more precise

I'm failing to find words

More

and

more

pusing dan termangu

A convincing, well-organized lie is SO much better than the truth.

Why is that ?

Whose fault is that ?

But then again,

why are we looking for faults, rather than solutions ?

Maybe it's more complicated than that.

Maybe I'm just too naive

Maybe this world is just too sad, and it's just the way it is.

Maybe I know absolutely NOTHING about anything

But still, why do we do this to to ourselves 

To each other 

To our loved ones

One thing for sure,

I have much, MUCH to learn.

Go, Go

and learn young one.

Learn

Ponder

drum rolls please

This has been too long.

Maybe I'll start doing this back

Reading through old posts, makes me feel like

Dang

I miss this.

If HE wills

Bismillah