10/2/15

satu fiksi

Pagi itu indah. Bangun dia dari kamar melihat sinar mentari sedang menerjah biliknya, cerah. 
Cerah. Terangkat bibirnya. 

'Today is going to be a good day, insyaAllah'

The weather's been nice lately, but somehow, she wasn't as cheer-y. Although she wondered why, the answer seem to never reach her. Maybe she was so slow she couldn't catch up with it. Or maybe it was playing hide-and-seek with her, seeing what she'll do to find it. Whether she wants it bad enough. Either way, she's still confused, and not seem to be getting any nearer.

Nonetheless, she continued on. Every single day. Some things happened, good, bad, normal. Life. She was there, in all these, experiencing day-to-day life. And she was happy. She was sad. She was focused. She sometimes lost track of stuff. And she get back up again. Living.

Yet somehow, there was , something. missing. and it comes by every now and then, forcing her to stop on her tracks. She tries to deal with it, the best way she knows how. And when another day goes by that it doesn't occupy her mind, she's thankful for it. 

But a bird took notice. She wasn't, fully there. Her mind was somewhere, even she don't know where. Just floating. Though the bird chirped and chirped, she took no notice, for it was only a bird. But the bird was determined to make her see. So the bird keep on coming by to her window, chirping to her every morning when she wakes up; when the sun streaks into her room, filling it with a soft glow.  

Days passed. and more days passed.

And one day, while the bird was chirping, there was a smile on the girl's face. Not a big one. Just enough of a hint that she was enjoying it. That she took notice. That she was there. 
That she was fully, there. 

8/19/15

renung saja tiada guna


Diambilnye gajet itu yang terbaring di depan mata
Belek. Belek.
Dan belek
Ligat ibu jari bergerak ke atas mengilap skrin gajet baru di-update itu

Kosong
Matanya,
Dan minda
Cukup kadar melihat, tanpa ada yang benar-benar masuk

Pelik
Makin mampu untuk berhubung kita dengan dunia luar sana
Makin kosong kita di dalamnya
Makin banyak dijamah
Makin tiada rasa yang disuapnya

Dia rindu bulan puasa baru ini.

Pelik kembali
Baru sebulan pemergian syawal
Dirasa jauh sekali ramadhan
Lagi jauh suasana yang begitu dirindunya
Di mana dia rasa dia dengan begitu saja pergi berborak bersama Dia
Mencari Dia
Kadang meluah saja
Kadang rasa banyak yang belum terbuat
Tapi masih bergerak
Masih

Tapi kini,
entah kenapa
entah apa beza dulu dan kinj
Rasa itu susah hadir
Atau cume dia?
Yang balik ke cara dulu, meski ada yang baru

Tapi
Itulah manusia kan
Merungut
Rungut, dan rungut
Tanpa bergerak 
Meski sikit



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